The projection of a Stephen Harper majority government was on everyone's mind and lips as the members of Tikkun Toronto met Tuesday the seventeenth of January. The prospect made all of us at various perches to the left on the political spectrum too distraught to carry on other business with much enthusiasm. We feared a looming catastrophe for the cause of social justice in Canada. The group was agitated and fearful that Conservative leadership would be heavily influenced a neo-con perspective from the United States. Conservative think tanks had already graced Harper with their support. But what to do at so late an hour? As a group, our actions require significant planning and effort. There is only so much energy and capacity in a volunteer group dedicated to healing the world when most of its members have day jobs to think about as well. 

Avi, one of our younger and much uninhibited members, came for action. He is known for the delight he takes in taking part in Palestinian protests in the West Bank that lead to imprisonment by the Israeli police, who then release him soon after rather than confront the embarrassing prospect of holding a Jew for participating in a human rights demonstration on behalf of his Palestinian brothers. Avi, as I said, came for action. He had to be heard. He wanted to galvanize us to do something on the spur of the moment at the next Harper rally in the Metro area. He preached, coerced, cajoled and inspired us. He had my support as soon as he said, " let's do something". 

Our idea was to do something outrageous, but socially acceptable in mixed company, to draw attention to what we believe to be the hidden anti-humanist agenda of Harper and his supporters - the ones the politicos hid behind the and scene would not allow the press to get near during the campaign. 

Our plan was to dress up in white and blue, put on Conservative campaign buttons and attend the rally, as would be Harper supporters. Picture for a moment a political meeting with the TV cameras focused on Harper. As the cheers of admirer's dies down, Tikkunista cheer leaders chime in feigned support of the darker causes that we felt would be unleashed in the event of a Conservative majority government. Our hopes and prayers were to reduce the Conservative standing to minority government. Perhaps in some small way, our band of merry pranksters could help turn the tide. 

Avi and I honed down cheers suggested by our fellow Tikkun members to about ten hopefuls. We would decide at the event the most appropriate ones to go with. Our material included the following - 

¥ Harper, Harper he's our man, global warming is his plan 
¥ Harper, Harper, he's OK, who needs gay rights anyway? 
¥ With Stephen Harper we're in clover, now we can screw the cities over 
And my personal favorite; 
¥ Stephen Harper's sweet sound bites, make us forget our charter rights. 

Our planning session ended late Tuesday night. Avi would contact others on the mailing list to recruit more cheerleaders; I would get the cheers into shape and print them up. As soon as we could determine where and when the next rally was to be held, we would gather our protest army and descend on the unsuspecting bourgeoisie. 

The rest of the week passed with little to do once our plan was set. I anointed Avi, having more experience in these political actions, as press spokesman and lead organizer. The only contentious moment was my insisting over Avi's objection to wear a clown nose at the event. We agreed to disagree, he wanting a dedicated cheering section with the precision of the Radio City Music Hall Rockets; I wanting to clown around telegraphing the lack of seriousness of our intent to those who might be too thick for irony. Besides, I thought, a clown nose would make good television. 

Fast forward to Friday January 20th at 3:00. Avi and Mel, (the only other cheerleader volunteer we could line up on such short notice), met me at What a Bagel on Yonge and Eglinton. We sat over coffee, whispering our plans to each other like Balkan spies and provocateurs somewhere on the outskirts of Sarajevo just before WW1. The meeting went as smoothly as it could among three leftist activists of varying degrees of Jewish identity. We came up, much debate and at least five different theories of political action. Two of us were of more than one mind. Wanting to avoid procrastination, I urged the team to can the rhetoric and get in the car. Soon we were tooling down 401 to the Delta Hotel at Kennedy Road. We were directed past the Harper tour bus into the hotel parking structure. We got out and went into a back door of the hotel. We were herded into a funnel of roped-off stanchions leading directly to the area of the hotel where the event would take place. We were casually screened by police at the entrance who let us pass. Avi, Mel and I made ourselves at home while casing the situation. We put on "Stand up for Canada" pins and someone stuck 5% stickers on us. We made polite conversation with other Harper fans in the room. We fit in quite well, commenting on what a flawless campaign the Tory's had run. I made a space down front for a little old lady with a cane. A nice mousy blond woman made a space for me so that I could be next to Avi and Mel. 

We waited for what seemed to be hours, but was less than ten minutes. We learned that Harper had arrived well before the event that was supposed to begin at five. He had been whisked past reporters long before the event was to start. At five o'clock, the first speaker came out to introduce the conservative slate for Scarborough. There were the meaningless speeches praising the candidates and a lot of good cheer among the faithful. How could they know there were wolves in cheap clothing in their midst. 

After the introductions were over, the rally organizer introduced Stephen Harper who came out to a cheering crowd and thunderous applause. As they settled down, some poor fellow in the back of the room chimed up with a garbled left wing paragraph of protest. He was quickly silenced and ejected from the room. Avi, Mel and I looked at each other knowingly and without a word passing between us, knew we had to bide our time. We had positioned ourselves strategically, not in the crowd, but next to the speaker's platform. The TV cameras might capture what ever we did, if the crew heard us and reacted in time. It was our goal to make the 11 o' clock news. 

Harper began. Sound bite on corruption -applause - sound bite on reducing the GST - applause - sound bite on blah, blah, blah - applause. Then at the moment of truth, Avi, whose instinct was impeccable, raised up on his feet and began. We joined him in chorus of - "HARPER, HARPER HE'S OK... IRAQ WAR, RIGHT THIS WAY" - at the top of our lungs and with the choreographic touch of sweeping hands and arms to the right on the "right this way" part. 

At this point, my appreciation of the situation becomes less clear. I was not in position to see Harper, but Avi reports that Harper's mouth dropped to the floor as in a Tex Avery cartoon. There was a good minute and a half of dead microphone, anathema to a media event anytime but particularly the last few days of the campaign. My attention was elsewhere as a saw a rather large Conservative with a little Chaplain, (I won't stoop so low as suggest it was a Hitler) moustache charged at me, with daggers in his eyes appropriate to the cartoon nature of the situation. If anyone has ever been in an car accident in which a speeding truck or large object, perhaps a locomotive was charging down on you, he will understand that for me the room became deathly silent and my field of vision tunneled round about my assailant. The Harper man grabbed me by the throat and proceeded to push me back. Still able to talk, I requested that he remove his hand. He was pulled off by another Harper man, perhaps wanting to protect me, perhaps out of concern that a possible public nuisance and trespass charge against us would be met with a certain assault charge against them. 

Time for me became compressed. I lost sight of Avi and Mel as I was ceremoniously (a-la tar and feathering rituals of yester year) whisked, clown nose and all, out the door of the meeting room. On my heels, was an enraged ferret of a woman screaming at me and cursing my existence and that of my ancestors. In the corridor, I was met by a young Toronto policeman who called off the Harper men and gently took my arm. I turned to the officer and thanked him believing that he might have saved me from injury and walked with him quietly to the hotel exit. As we walked along, the officer smiled, winked at me and said he approved of what we had done. At the door, I thanked him and the attention of Metro's finest and shook his hand. Retrieving the car and picking up Mel and Avi, we were off. The energy level in the car was exhilarating. The next day, Avi phoned to say that his roommate caught the event on the 11:00 Global News. I eagerly await the acquisition of a copy of the tape for other politically inspired use by my Tikkun friends and me.